me: please be gay.
guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
guys: ew fat chicks
guys: why do girls care so much about shopping and romance and nail polish lol so annoying
guys: ew crazy butch lesbian manly feminazis why can't they act more feminine lol
guys: why do girls wear makeup they look so much better without it
guys: oh i'm so sorry are you sick? tired? dying?
guys: haha girls suck at math/science/sports
guys: a girl who does math/science/sports? well? get back in the kitchen that shits not gonna get you a husband
guys: why are girls so sensitive when we look at their boobs or something c'mon with that top you're asking for it
guys: oh my god a gay guy just hit on me how fucking disgusting what a creeper doesn't he have any boundaries?
Everytime I see a cute girl...
Me: OMG she is so cute
Girl: *looks at me*
Me: Oh fuck does she know I'm gay?
Me: Is she gay?
Me: Fuck, I am so gay.
Girl: *walks out of my life forever*
My favorite types of hugs.
Tight hugs: The ones where they just hug you super tight for a long time with no words. Unexpected hugs: The ones where you’re just doing your own thing and they come from behind and hug you unexpectedly. Lift up hugs: The ones where you run up to them, and they have their arms all wide, and you just run up and you lift up your legs and they carry you. Spinning hugs: The ones where they hug...
Normal people flirting: hey youre cute we should go out sometime (;
Me trying to flirt: so do you like bread
me trying to tell a story: so yeah like, he said, or no, wait, first she was like.... i don't remember, but it's not important to the story 'cause... wait, yeah it is, but, i don't know man, it was just weird you know 'cause.. i don't know
Straight girl: Are you flirting with me?
Me: Me? What? No. No I wasn't.
Straight girl: Oh...why not? Do you not think I'm pretty?
Me: Well yeah, I guess you're pretty.
Straight girl: So..you're gay, I'm pretty. Why aren't you flirting with me?
Me: You're not my type.
Straight girl: What is your type?
Me: Girls who like girls?
Straight girl: Touche.